July 12, 2007

Thankful Thursday...

Something really great happened this week and today is a great day to share it:

I am so thankful for God's grace and guidance and especially his promise. I have been in and out of depression since I had my baby boy about a year ago. Some days I can just push through it all, some days are just so difficult I feel as if I just can't go on. I have had great support through all of it. My husband has helped me above and beyond, my parents have helped me, my sister-in-law has supported me, my friends have supported me, my boss has even helped me without him really knowing he has helped.

I tried taking St. John's Wort because I didn't want to be on any drugs. It helped a little while, but then it kinda just stopped helping. Nothing really helped. Throughout this entire journey I turned to the Lord in prayer, asking him to help me through this. I asked why. I couldn't understand why. This is supposed to be one of the happiest times of my life...and I was just miserable at times. I had gotten pretty good at hiding it, which wasn't a good idea because it felt like what I was going through was being ignored. I felt like nobody cared about me. Nobody.

I was really looking forward to vacation and "getting away from it all." That doesn't happen now that I am a Mom to a one year old. Vacation took effort and I was tired the entire time. Don't get me wrong, it was a wonderful time and I have wonderful, incredible memories with my precious baby boy. But I had different expectations of what vacation was like before him and it was change that I didn't think about. I know NOW.

So this weekend, J and I finally made it back to church. We have missed for almost 2 months due to Lil'D being sick so much and being away on weekends and going on vacation. At first my heart wasn't into it. I just didn't feel like worshiping. My mind was racing with things like the house being a mess, clothes weren't washed yet, WAS I EVER GOING TO GET IT TOGETHER? Once Pastor B started his sermon I finally let go and listened. After the sermon we had communion. I just gave everything to Him. I really gave it ALL to the Lord. I can't explain it. It was definitely different than the many times I had come to him before. I felt something lift from me. It was an amazing feeling. I re-dedicated my life to him and it felt so wonderful.

This week has really been different. Even though things haven't been easy this week, I feel differently about things. I have a different attitude about it, I feel empowered by His strength. I really feel it. I have been reading the Word every morning. I have been praying every morning like I used to. I am not loosing my patience like I was before. I haven't felt like breaking down and crying at all. I have faith that the Lord wants me well and He can heal me if I would just trust him and let him. I am feeling like my old self this week and it is simply wonderful. I give ALL the glory to my savior Jesus Christ. Without him I would sink even farther. No sinking for me!!!

Hope everyone has a blessed rest of the week and an excellent weekend!!

-Until tomorrow


Debbie said...

I am so glad you are feeling better. God is such an awesome God! I will keep you in my prayers.

Blessings to you!

Denise said...

I am praising God with you dear one. I sank deep into depression last april after the death of my momma. I am so happy that things are getting better for you.

Pearls of Wisdom said...

I am so glad you are feeling better. May the Lord bless you this week and always.

Angel ( Angel Mama ) ():)

Brenda said...

(((hugs))) I can relate. Thank you for sharing so beautifully from your tender heart. Praising God w/ you for His grace, guidance and especially His promises. :)

Loving Father, continuously hold Ellie Mae close to You and lavish Your love, peace, hope, and joy upon her. Breathe new life into her soul. You are our Breath of Life and I praise and thank You for how beautifully You work and love us. Thank You, Jesus!

Amy said...

Wow, what a great post to read. :) I'm so happy for you to have that feeling of a burden being lifted.

Hopeful Spirit said...

Wonderful!! What an uplifting post and I'm so happy that you are feeling better. Will continue holding you up in prayer!