Letters to Lil'D...

My sweetest Lil'D,

We are now into week 6, I think, of potty training. You are still standing your ground and are constantly showing me that you are in control. I know there are so many distractions around you that are so much more fun than going potty, but trying to make you understand that is so difficult sometimes. I am really trying not to make going potty such a negative experience in your life. You are doing great when we are out and about. You are always reminding us that you are staying dry and we are reminding you as well. But, you haven't gotten to the point of telling us if you have to go yet.

Going night night is always been routine for you. The steady things have been putting your pajamas on and reading. We've recently started giving you showers at night instead of baths. We bought new hooded towels for you in December. A dinosaur and a lion towel. When we started using the dinosaur towel. You loved running through the house naked with the hood part on your head and the rest of the towel flying behind you. You would also roar like a dinosaur. You just stopped one night. We changed to the lion towel and you haven't had much interest in the towels anymore. This kind of made me sad. Right now you love jumping on mommy and daddy's cal-king bed. You live for this. My only problem with this is I keep chapstick on my nightstand and you just love chapstick. To the point of where you have started eating it. I have teeth marks in my chapstick. Just last night you lost your jumping privileges because you got into my chapstick again. Hopefully, it won't happen again.

We have just recently started praying with you at night. You have completely memorized your prayer and it is the most heart warming moment to hear you recite it by yourself. Here is your current prayer:

"Dear Jesus,

Thank you for today.

Please be with mommy.

Please be with daddy.

Please be with Lizzie.

In Jesus name,

Amen."

I am so incredibly blessed to have you. And am so thankful for everything you are.

I love you,

Momma

Letters to Lil'D...

My sweet Lil'D,

We have now been potty training for 3 weeks. You still don't get it completely, but you are making progress, slowly. You and me have battled it out a lot in the past week. You have tested me to my limit. We've also had some fun sweet moments also.

In the grocery store this week you shocked Daddy & I. You were looking at packages of food, calling out the letters and the sounds they make. The A says aaa, the b says bah...it was awesome. Thanks to the Leap Frog letter factory. Those videos are great.

You have watched a lot of different animated movies in the past couple of months. I wanted to make a list of your favorites:

• Dinosaurs
• Over The Hedge
• Horton Says A Who
• Monsters Inc.
• Cars
• Bugs Life
• Tarzan
• The Grinch That Stole Christmas

Here is a list of tv shows that are your favorite right now:

• The Imagination Movers
• Blue's Clues
• Doodlebops

Your memory is incredible. It is amazing to me the things that you are remembering. I know that you are a little sponge and I am doing my best to fill your world with good things.

One last thing, here is a memorable moment between you and daddy this week:

Lil'D: "Top down daddy?"

Daddy: "Not today, it may rain and we would get wet."

Lil'D: "Then we need an umbrella."

Love,

Mommy

How's the weather...

As I left work yesterday, this is what the sunset looked like. I work a block from the beach and very rarely notice it anymore. (shame on me) I noticed it yesterday. Ok, people, it's January, it's supposed to be winter. This week it has been over 80degrees in some areas of San Diego. I really love the winter months in San Diego. It is a cool 65degrees most days and requires a sweatshirt or a jacket. I l-o-v-e those days. I am not a big fan of very hot weather. I lived in Texas for 22 years. During the summer it was so hot you couldn't even think about surviving without air conditioning!! When I moved to San Diego 12 years ago it was perfect. The only month is was really hot was August. Keep in mind most places do not have air conditioning because the weather is so agreeable here the whole year. So, when it gets hot here I suffer. I don't mean to come off as a spoiled brat, but I get hot faster than most people. I do not "glow" as most people like to call it. I sweat, a lot...more than the average person. I just get hot and start sweating for no good reason. It is really ridiculous, annoying and sometimes really embarrassing!

For example, last year I went to a birthday party with Lil'D at Pump It Up. In case you don't know it is a huge room full of blow up bouncy houses. Some include slides and obstacle courses. Lil'D was only a year old and it was impossible for him to do a lot of the stuff without my help. After going through the courses and slides I was sweating to death. I literally, no kidding, looked like someone had poured a bucket of water on my head. I was pouring sweat. My entire face was flushed and damp, my hair was soaked and I was mi-ser-a-ble!!! No other moms looked like me. Of course, it was time to eat snacks, cakes and the birthday boy was going to open presents. I felt so sick with embarrassment that we left. I didn't tell anyone that we were leaving. It was really horrible.

Another example, my company Christmas party. It was at my boss's house. We had turned on some music and were dancing. We managed to get everybody on the dance floor. It was so much fun. We all danced for hours!!! I was completely soaked with sweat. I looked like I had taken a shower and washed my hair. It was completely drenched. One of my friends kept bringing it up and saying how crazy it was that I sweat so much. She even just laughed at me a couple of times. I am really comfortable with all the people I work with. We have all worked together for almost 10 years. They know me...the person that I am and they all respect me and I know them as well and respect them. Most people know that when I am on a dance floor I perspire, everybody ignores it and has a great time. This was the first time that this girl had seen me like this. It was really embarrassing and it really gave me a complex. I continued on and had a great time in spite of her.

So, I sweat really easily and really bad. I really dislike really hot weather because I have no air conditioning. Therefore, I am really bummed that I am being cheated out of some cool weather here in January. I want it to be nice and cool right now, like it is supposed to be.

Don't get me wrong, I know that I really am lucky to live where I live. It doesn't seem real that it is 10 or 20 degrees in other places. The snow, the ice, the temperatures, the difference between there and here are just crazy and it doesn't make sense in my head. I just want the temperature to stay under 70degrees, that is all I ask for. Or, I could move. (that is what most people tell me) That is not going to happen.

Ok, rant over. It is currently 68degrees, right this moment where I am and I am happy, very happy with that!

Wanna win this...

This is the Keurig Platinum Brewer. Click here and find out all about it. It is really cool. I would love to have one to put on my desk at work!! Here is a little blurb about it:

"The Platinum offers the full spectrum of features including Auto On/Off, Digital Clock, Adjustable Temperature Control and the "Set Your Favorite Cup Size" option. The largest available 60 oz. removable water reservoir holds up to ten cups before refilling and the removable drip tray allows for easy cleaning and the use of travel mugs. The sleek, award-winning design is a unique footprint among Keurig's line of home brewing systems and includes both a blue lit water reservoir and blue lit LCD display."

The girls over at Secret is in the Sauce are giving one away. Please go visit them, I promise you will find tons of fun stuff to read and lots of fun bloggers to visit!!! If you want to find out more about the giveaway, please click here.

Have a wonderful day!!!

God's Word in my ear...

Ok, I have added the most important thing in my life to my day!!! I want to eventually get up at 5am every morning so that I can have quiet time with the Lord. I just haven't done it yet. I get up at 6:20 and barely make it to work by 8am. I really need to work on that. I should be getting to work at 7:30 so that I can leave early!! No one holds me accountable to this, so as long as I get to work by 8:30 I am not late.

Have you heard about these:

My pastor talked about making reading the bible a priority in 2009. He gave away a GoBible in every service. I was really excited about these and immediately went to their website: Gobible.com. They are actually pretty cool. Here are the features:

• You can choose from the KJV, NIV, or NKJV.


• It is searchable by book, by chapter, and, for the first time in an audio Bible, by over 31,000 individual verses!


• It makes God’s Word accessible to everyone by including a Story Index of over 200 popular Bible stories, a Topic Index, and a “Bible in a Year” study plan.
  

That is pretty cool, huh? What is the hang up you ask?

The price is $99.95. My husband bought me an ipod nano in 2005. I have a first generation and have taken great care of it. I have no intention of buying a new mp3 player considering how much they are priced right now. I am blessed to have one at all! GoBible is just not in my budget right now at all. So, here is my solution:

I googled free+bible+mp3+niv and came up with this site:

Jesus Christ Saves Ministries

I downloaded the entire bible in the New International Version to my computer and then popped it into itunes and synced with my ipod!!!

Yesterday on the way home from work I listened to 27 minutes of Matthew. It was awesome!!! This morning on the way into work I listened to over 30 more minutes of Matthew. I am so happy having God's word in my ear!!! This, of course, is not going to replace God's word in any way. But getting a daily dose of God's word in my ear is great! I will still keep my other 5am goal in the future. I just needed this, now!

If you want other versions, here they are in mp3 format:

• KJV: AudioTreasure


• NKJV: Free MP3 Audio Bibles Download (I am currently testing this one to see if it works properly.)
  

Enjoy!

Letters to Lil'D...

My sweet boy,

We have survived our first week of potty training together. It has been very rewarding and very trying. It all started last Saturday morning when we introduced you to your new big boy training pants. The morning was a little difficult trying to get you to understand the concept. For all of your 2 1/2 years you have never had to think about controlling anything your body does. Once we accidentally caught pee-pee in the potty, you got candy and understood the concept. Pee-pee in the potty = candy. Ok, got it. You stayed dry the rest of the day. I'm still putting diapers on you at nap time and nighttime.

I think the change in your routine has your emotions all mixed up. One minute you are as happy as a lark, the next you are melting down crying and no consoling will help. Each day that I took you to Pam's you challenged me and tried your best to get YOUR way. Finally by Thursday Pam told me to just drop you off and she would take care of taking you potty first thing. It worked. You were still trying to test and get control, but Pam did win because Friday you stayed dry all day. You were even cooperative when we got home. You went potty right away and stayed dry for your Auntie E until bedtime.

I love to hear "OK, mama." Those are the best words and they make me so happy. I heard it a lot today. I cleaned your room today and you went through ALL your toys with me. I packed up all your baby toys. You had a hard time letting a few of them go, but only because they were in front of you. Once they were packed in a box you forgot about them. I completely rearranged your room. (The designer in me that just can't let the furniture sit in one place too long) Good thing you are used to it by now. I think I've changed your room around about 5 or 6 times now. I took some photos of your room and your favorite toys at the moment.

Here they are:

This is what your room looks like today:

I edited a few of the photos because your name is spelled out underneath the Padres logo.

Here are a few of your favorite toys:

This is your Thomas Action Canyon set. You love sitting in the center of the circle and then letting the train go down the big hill.

This is your drum and your musical instrument collection. You LOVE drums!

This lion sleeps with you every night. You love him, but haven't given him a name yet. I am waiting to hear what his name is one day.

You love playing with this shape sorter!!

This is your moo bowling set. You love to bowl with just about anything!!

This is your kid's meal toys from all different kinds of restaurants. You've got a really great collection of these!!!

One last thing. We went to Soup Plantation tonight and ate muffins, soup and ice cream. Mommy faced her first potty time in a public restroom. You decided that you didn't want to go, but at least I faced it for the first time. I was pretty nervous about it. I still do not look forward to next time. I'm sure the more I do it the better I will get, just as you will about going potty and staying dry. We ran by target to get some special foaming soap for washing your hands and made it home after on hour and 15 minutes. You were dry!!! I was so proud. You got a sucker for it!!

All my love,
Mama

1st thrifty shoppin' trip of the year...

The best part of this whole shopping trip is I wasn't expecting it!

After work I ran by Office Depot to get a new 3 or 5 subject notebook. I have 4 pages left in the one I bought in September 2007. I keep all my to do lists, phone calls and notes for work in it. On the way to the notebooks I spotted a display bin in the middle of the main aisle marked Hot Deals. I saw sharpies, highlighters, glue, scissors, tape, pens and more marked anywhere from $1.50 - 20cents. I immediately had my hands too full and had to go get a basket. I was so excited. Here is a photo of what I came home with:

Here is a list of what I got...retail price...clearance price

• 12 pk Sharpie Minis $9.99, $1.50
• 12 pk Sharpie Minis $9.99, $1.50
• 4 pack Sharpie Fine Minis $3.99, .50cents
• 4 pk Sharpie Ultra Fine Minis $5.00, .50cents
• 4 pk Sharpie Accent Highlighters $3.99, .50cents
• 18 pk Office Depot glue sticks $5.91, .50cents
• 1 Foray Dry Erase board cleaner $2.00, .20cents
• 4 pk Foray Retractable Highlighters $5.99, .20cents
• 2 pk Fine Pink Sharpies $1.99, .50cents
• 2 pk Sharpie RT retractables $2.00, .50cents
• 2 calculator pouches $7.99, 99cents
• 4 pk Expo dry erase markers $5.99, .20cents
• 1 pr Scotch household scissors .99cents, .20cents
• 6 pk Crayola True To Life Markers $3.75, .99cents
• 1 pink case (for phone, camera...etc) $9.99, $1.00
• 2 pk Packaging tape and dispenser $7.99, $2.00
• 10 pk PaperMate ballpoint pens, 49center, .20cents
  

Retail price: $99.09 What I paid: $16.35

Can you believe it? I love sharpies and they are just too expensive to justify ever buying them. I love all things office supplies.

I especially love a bargain!!!!!

I'm off to test out my sharpies!

My current schedule...play by play

Weekday schedule:

6am - alarm goes off, hit snooze twice
6:20 - get up: shower, let hair air dry, fight with my closet
6:45 - heat up french toast in microwave for Lil'D
pick out Lil'D's clothes
Lil'D potty time
dress Lil'D
tell Daddy bye
gather my stuff and get out the door
7am-7:20 - leave the house
7:10-7:30 - drop Lil'D off at daycare
7:45 - 8am - arrive at work
8am-5pm - work (I fix my hair when I get to work)
5:40pm - arrive at home (J picks Lil'D up from daycare), every 20 minutes is potty time
5:45-6pm - eat dinner with my family
6pm-6:30 - workout
7:30 - Lil'D in the shower (what we do in between eating and showering is not always the same)
7:45 - read books with Lil'D ( J and I take turns every other night)
7:45 - 8pm - night, night for Lil'D
8pm - 10pm - I have been sitting in front of the tv, just vegging and being brainless.
10pm - bedtime for J and I.

My most useful time would be:

1. If I would get up at 5am. There is a lot of time there for bible reading and working out!!
2. 8pm - 10pm. If I get up at 5am I would have to go to bed at least by 9:30. I need to make at least 30 minutes of this time housework during the week. HAVE TO!!

Weekend schedule:

Right now we are potty training. We have potty time every 20 minutes.

I know I waste a lot of time on the weekend because I don't have a plan. I get overwhelmed and flustered and get in a bad mood because of not having a plan. NO MORE BAD MOODS. I have a choice as to what my mood is and I can choose not to let this overwhelm me!!!! I need to make a project list and cross off one project every weekend! AND cook one meal over the weekend too! Baby steps...baby steps. I want it all and I want it all right now!!!!!

Holdin' myself accountable...

Every year starts as with new goals, aspirations and dreams. I have been really looking forward to the new year to start fresh and to just be a better person all the way around.

I thought long and hard about "resolutions," but those just flame out after a month or two. I need accountability. I have come to terms that only I can hold myself accountable. Other people have just as much on their mind and plate as I do and it's just not fair to expect others to hold me accountable.

So here is my accountability list for myself:

Bible Study/Devotional

• I have slipped in this area of my life. I have gotten into the habit of saying I don't have time. That's like saying I don't have time for my Savior. I don't want to go there anymore!!

Better wife / mom

• Being a good mom has been my priority since my sweet Lil'D came into our life. I can honestly say that I have given 100 percent to Lil'D! It's the one thing I haven't lagged in!
• I have not been the best wife I could be. My sweet J is so wonderful that he doesn't even let it bother him. (at least I can't see it or haven't taken the time to see it) He gives of himself all the time. He is so selfless and is always trying to make my world better. He is always trying to make better what I feel is falling apart. He deserves so much more than I give. I will be better!

Time Management

• I really need to look at my schedule everyday and use ALL of my time wisely.
• I need to schedule ME time...very important!
• My true goal here is to include some craftiness/creative time! This would be an indulgence!

Cooking

• This is always on the back burner for me. It's just so hard for me to get to this place. (when you see my schedule you will understand) My husband had been doing a lot of the cooking during the week. BUT, I have no excuse for the weekends except for laziness and being selfish with my time. (more like wasteful)
• Let's start with cooking one day on the weekend. That's realistic huh?

Housework

• I have just lagged in this area almost completely. I have done everything I can to keep our "living" area tidied. I have let our master bath and our room completely go. I've got to find a balance here.

Working out

• This has to be done everyday. If I'm ever going to loose the 30 pounds I put on with my pregnancy (my son is 2 1/2) I've got to do this EVERYDAY, no ifs ands or buts!!
• I have found the "perfect" workout for me and my time constraints. Its about 30 minutes everyday. Lil'D even likes to watch me workout and joins in sometimes.

Crafty-Creativeness

• I have put this on the back burner for a long time. I'm just not me without doing this. I have a list as long as California for projects I would like to do!!

These are my priorities that I will hold myself accountable to. I feel completely overwhelmed writing all this out. I hope to find peace in my schedule somehow.

I know that with the Lord's help I will find it in the time he wants me to.

Wordless Wednesday...

Startin' out the New Year right!

I got this for Christmas: and this:

I did the 30 day Shred DVD for the first time on Sunday. It is really great and perfect for me. I love it so far and plan to do it everyday.

I have not tried her wii game yet. I plan on trying it this weekend. I'll let you know how it goes.

I'm pretty much confined to the house in the evenings and on the weekends because we are potty training. Please pray for patience for us!

Letters to Lil'D...

My sweetest Lil'D,


The past year has been amazing. I have watched you grow from a baby to a little boy. You have grown up so fast. Every time I hear you talking I can't believe how many words you know and the sentences you are putting together are just so much fun to hear!

We were in Wal-mart a couple of weeks ago and you pointed to my sweatshirt and said:

"Mama, what is that right there?" You were pointing to the mascot.

You even asked us what our names were. You say them so well. We started asking what your name is and you've got that one down too. Your memory is just amazing!

During December we kept asking you what you wanted for Christmas. You kept saying you wanted a stick. It was so funny every time!

One of the crafts you made at daycare was a beautiful construction paper Christmas tree. There were snowmen and Santa clause and a candy cane on it. I pointed to the candy cane and asked you what that was. You said, "a hockey stick." Too funny. What I wouldn't give to hear what goes on in your head all the time!

During Christmas vacation I took you to work with me. You wanted to sit at one of the desks and play with the phones. Out of nowhere you picked up the phone, put it to your ear and said, "Hello, this is Lil'D." It cracked us all up! I think you have heard daddy answer his phone that way so many times.

We started potty training today. You only had 2 accidents. You totally get going in the potty, you just need to realize that you can hold it and control it. Before bedtime tonight you asked to go potty. We sat in the bathroom together and I asked you, "are you just doing this to stay up later?" You looked at me seriously and touched my arm and said, "Mama, I just want candy." It was so funny, but you were so serious. My little boy is just growing up too fast.

All my love,
Mama

New Year's Day...

We started this tradition last year with Jeremy's brother and his family and repeated it this year. We went to:

Knott's Berry Farm

They offer a special price if you wear colors for the teams that are playing in the rose bowl. Last year's entry price was 19.99 per person. This year it was 29.99. That was kind of a bummer. Lil'D is still free so that was good.

We left home at 8:15am

Got to the park a little after 10am

We left the park at 8:15pm

We got home a little after 10pm

It was a really fun day!! Next year I am not going to ride the Silver Bullet rollercoaster, it made me feel sick. I guess I'm just getting old. J and I loved Ghostrider the best. It is a wooden rollercoaster. We rode it 2 times in a row before we left.

Here are the photos we took of Lil'D:

Happy New Year!!

Wordless Wednesday...

Wordless Wednesday...

Is there anything I can say about this?

Adventures with Lil'D...

Let's bake cupcakes together!!

While Jeremy went to the Charger/Raider game, Lil'D and I spent last night making cupcakes together. We had a really great time. He didn't want to go to bed he was having so much fun. Jeremy came home happy because the Raiders lost 34-7!!

7 Random Things...

I was tagged a couple of weeks ago by Jenny at Dailydose of Motherhood. I am supposed to list 7 random things about myself. I am finally taking the time to post my list:

one...
I really love Hello Kitty. I have no idea why. Since I moved to California in 1996, I have always been obsessed with her. Now I do not have a ridiculous collection or anything. I only have a few things. But, when I see something hello kitty I just have to have it!

two...
I bite my nails. It is such a horrible habit. I have tried many many times to quit. I have quit and then started back up again. I had acrylic nails for a long time, but it is such a waste of money. I am in a biting mode right now and I hope to completely break this habit one day.

three...
I don't like chocolate cake, brownies or chocolate ice cream. I know, I'm weird. I get told that all the time. I can eat candy bars and m&m's like there is no tomorrow, but put brownies in my house and I won't touch them! It's kind of a blessing right now since I'm trying to loose weight!!

four...
I have social anxiety. I get really nervous in front of a group of people. My heart starts pounding so hard it's almost painful and my hands start to sweat, I even start to shake sometimes. The crazy thing is that all the years that I was a twirler I could get up in front of a crowd of a thousand people and have no problem, but if I have to talk it's just so painful I just want to run away! Even if it's a small group of say 5 of my friends, that I know really well, I clam up and have nothing to say unless I am asked a question. I'm always the quiet one. I'm much better with one on one, sometimes you just can't shut me up I have so much to say.

five...
Right now I really love chinese food! I LOVE orange chicken and bejing beef from Panda Express and I LOVE house special chicken from Pick Up Stix. I could eat it everyday!!

six...
I can wiggle my ears. I have been able to do this since I was in elementary school.

seven...
I love rain, I love snow, I love cold weather (probably because I miss it so much). I get so excited if it's cool enough at night to wear a sweatshirt! I miss the season change. All the years I lived in Texas I took the weather for granted. I love it when it rains...how it sounds, how it smells. It's rained like 4 times this year. I never see snow and I have to go out of my way to drive down a certain street that has trees that change with the season. (like I have time to do this)BUT, I love the beach and cool weather! I hardly ever go to the beach in the summer, it just gets so hot and miserable. I love it on a windy day! I really love it on a cold day! There is something about walking on the beach, holding hands with my sweetie, while the sun sets and we are all bundled up because it's freezing!!!! Weird...I know!

Well, that is it. That's me! Hope you enjoyed the list. I enjoyed making it.

Wordless Wednesday...

For more WW go to 5minutes for Mom!

Back to the real world...

Ok, now that I got the hard part out of the way, let's get on with the good stuff.

Thanksgiving Day...

I had Jeremy's entire family at my house (except for his sister). That is 16 total including us...

• Grandma & Grandpa Ham (Jeremy's mom & dad)


• Jeremy's oldest brother and his wife and their 4 kids


• Jeremy's older brother and his wife and their 3 kids
  
• Me, Jeremy & Lil'D
  

=16

Here is my first turkey fresh from the oven!

It was absolutely perfect! I am so proud...and thankful to Martha!! (Stewart, that is). I dry brined it for 12 hours and roasted it for about 3 hours. I also made dressing and fresh steamed green beans. Jeremy's mom brought homemade mashed potatoes and gravy...they were yummy! There was lots of food and we ate and ate! Lil'D didn't do to well this thanksgiving. He had one bite of mashed potatoes and a taste of dressing. He ate 2 cups of strawberry yogurt. My little picky eater has arrived. He drank all his milk though!

We spent the rest of the evening looking at ads and planning our attack for Friday.

Black Friday...

My sweet Jeremy got up at 5:45am and went to Home Depot and got my beautiful $199.99reg price LED prelit Christmas tree for $49.99!! Lil'D and I woke up at around 7:30am and Jeremy had already taken the tree out of the box and put it together! We finished decorating the tree on Sunday night.

Here is the final result:

Lil'D had a wonderful time playing with the beads, putting the ornaments on the bottom branches and throwing ornaments on the tree and watching them stick. He also enjoys running the Christmas train below the tree. It has a remote control just like Grandpa's trains.

Date night...

Friday night Jeremy and I went out to dinner and a movie. We figured that all that we have been through we deserved to have a night out. We went to Fuddrucker's. I love their fries! dipped in the honey mustard sauce. Yummy!!

Then we went to the movies. We saw...Twilight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I read the book about 2 weeks ago and loved it so much I read the second book, New Moon, shortly after. It was really great and I understand now what all the rage was about. I absolutely L-O-V-E Bella and Edward! I can't wait to read the next book, I'm chompin' at the bit. I'm going to get the book this week and I will probably read all 600+ pages by Sunday night. I'm just a little obsessed, that't all. Here are the two people my world has been all about the past three weeks:

Moving on...

Did you know that 20% of all pregnancies end in miscarriage? If you have had one live birth and one miscarriage you have a 10% chance to miscarry again. I found that women in their late 30s have an 18% risk of miscarriage. You always hear these things, but secretly pray and pray that it will never happen to you.

I was pregnant. I took a test and was positive on Thursday, November 6th. Went to the doctor and got an official blood test. I was so excited. It had taken us only 5 months. My due date was July 12th, 2009. I immediately made my first pre-natal appointment, subscribed to all the pregnancy newletters by email, dreamed about my new sweet baby, thought about names, you know, the whole shebang. I was only 5 weeks.

On Tuesday, November 18th I started spotting. I called the doctor immediately and went in for a test that charts my pregnancy hormones. I continued to bleed and was in a little pain. I took another blood test on Thursday. On Friday morning the doctor confirmed my greatest fear. The pregnant hormones were not rising anymore, they were descending. I missed almost 3 days of work because I just didn't want to go through this there. I was emotionally up and down. The weekend passed as if it were a dream. I took another blood test on Monday morning and Tuesday they said that my numbers were coming down and a good pace and I would probably not need a D&C. The doctor wants me to go through 2 full cycles before trying again.

What a crazy emotional rollercoaster that was. I'm still up and down. I went in for my last blood test this morning just to make sure that I still don't need to D&C. I have spoke to several people who have 2 miscarriages in a row that are my age. I fear another.

But I have to go through the fear to bring another life into our family. The Lord has given me strength and reassurance through this trial. I am thankful to have had this happen at 6 weeks rather than 20 weeks or something way worse. I have a child in heaven now. I will be reunited with him/her one day.

It's time to move on and go on with life.
I just wanted to share this with all the people in my life that I don't see everyday and may be many, many miles away.